


To Live

by JenJo



Series: To Live [1]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Backstory, Canon Compliant, For the most part, Gen, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Recovery, Rhodey-centric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-28
Updated: 2017-02-18
Packaged: 2018-08-11 12:38:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7892581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JenJo/pseuds/JenJo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The road to recovery is long, twisting, full of road blocks, and unexpected surprises.<br/>This is the story of Rhodey, beginning at the end of CA:CW.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. To Begin Again

**Author's Note:**

> Some liberty is taken with timing around the final act of CA:CW.  
> Written back in June, I wrote this because Marvel won't.

“Tony! It is so good to see you again. Come in, come in.”

Tony stepped inside, closing the door behind him. He kept his glasses on, and gave Roberta a small smile.

“Mrs Rhodes.”

Roberta opened her arms to Tony. “Come on, you know not to call me that.”

Tony leant down to hug Roberta, holding on tightly.

When they pulled apart, Roberta put a hand on the side of Tony’s face. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

Tony pulled off his glasses, pressing fingers into his eyes.

“Come on, the kettle’s on,” Roberta led Tony by the hand into the kitchen, making sure Tony sat down at the table while she made a cup of coffee.

Tony put his glasses on the table, looking out the window until Roberta handed him a cup.

“Thank you,” he said weakly, not taking a drink.

Roberta sat across from him, looking at him assessingly. “Now, I have never known you to ignore a cup of coffee in all my years of knowing you, Tony.”

Tony looked up at Roberta then, and her face fell. “What happened to him?”

“Always able to see straight through us,” Tony shook his head. “Always so good to us, Roberta.” Tony wiped at his eyes, before taking a deep breath. “There was an incident, yesterday. A fight. Rhodey… Rhodey was hit. He’s in surgery now. They says he’s going to live, but they’re not optimistic about his chances of walking again.”

Before Tony had finished speaking, Roberta was standing next to him, pulling him into a hug. He let the tears flow, as did Roberta.

“He won’t want me to see him,” she spoke when they pulled apart. Tony nodded, wiping his eyes.

“Not a chance. You know Rhodey.”

“He’s a fighter, that’s for sure. You get him to call me, alright?”

“I’m sure he’ll call anyway. How’s Lila?”

“Enjoying that scholarship you arranged. She’ll be home soon, don’t suppose you want to stick around?”

“I’d love to,” Tony looked at his watch, and sighed. “But Rhodey will be out of surgery soon, and if I stay, I’ll never leave.”

Roberta pulled Tony back into another hug, before reaching out and handing him back his glasses. “You’re always welcome in this home, Tony. Any time you need it? There’s a room ready for you.”

Tony nodded, putting the glasses back on. “Say hi to Lila for me.”

 

~~~

 

“Tony, I wish we were meeting under better circumstances.”

Tony watched as Helen Cho tucked her hair behind her ears, looking like she had been awake for a week.

“You look tired Helen.”

Helen smiled a small smile at Tony. “Not as tired as you look. May I?”

She gestured at the seat next to where Tony was slouched; he nodded and sat up straighter, turning to face Helen.

“It’s not a simple answer,” she preempted his question. Tony’s lips turned up slightly at the reminder of her ability to answer a person’s question before they had asked it.

“You sure you don’t have a power?”

“Only my medical expertise,” she smiled at Tony, before sobering. “He will live, but he won’t walk.”

“Ever?”

“We’re always discovering new things. I can’t say never, simply that the technology does not yet exist. Not in a completely viable sense.”

“The cradle?”

Helen shook her head. “Ultron destroyed it, as well as the plans for it. We’re still yet to rebuild it.”

Tony nodded, closing his eyes.

Helen reached out to put a hand on his thigh. “You can go and see him, if you wish.”

“Maybe in a minute,” Tony opened his eyes, patting Helen’s hand. “I’ll get there. You should go get some rest.”

Helen shook her head as she stood. “As should you. Your arm should be bandaged still.”

Tony looked down at his arm; he had removed the bandaging so as to not worry Roberta.  _ I’ll get it looked at later. _

 

~~~

 

The first thing Rhodey heard was the steady beeping of a heart monitor. The second the tapping of a phone. He dragged his eyes open, and turned towards the tapping.

“You look like crap,” he croaked out.

Tony’s head snapped up, phone dropping into his lap. “Looked in a mirror lately?”

Rhodey began to laugh, before going into a coughing fit. Tony sat forward on his seat, ready to get up, but Rhodey was waving him back.

“I’m fine,” he muttered. “Could do with sitting up though.”

Tony pressed a button, pushing the seat up.

Rhodey closed his eyes, tensing them for a moment. “I can’t feel my legs.”

“How much do you remember?”

“The airport,” Rhodey opened his eyes, looking at Tony out of the corner of them. “Vision?”

Tony nodded. “Yeah. Vision.”

“How?”

Tony shook his head, looking down at his hands. “I don’t know. He says he was distracted.”

“How does an android get distracted?”

“No idea.”

“Tones,” Rhodey waited for Tony to look up at him. “Don’t blame yourself.”

Tony was about to reply, when his phone vibrated. He looked down at it, and sighed. “It’s Ross.”

“Go.”

Tony looked at him. “No, I’ll stay.”

Rhodey shook his head. “You need to sort out Ross. I’ll still be here when you get back. Not like I can walk away.”

Tony nodded, and walked out of the room, not looking back.

Once the door closed behind him, Rhodey let the tears which he had been holding back fall free. 

 

~~~

 

Doctor Cho came in about half an hour after Tony left. Rhodey had been preparing himself for her appearance.

“How do you feel?” She asked, looking at the monitors beside him. Rhodey turned an unimpressed look on her.

“Like I can’t walk.”

“Not inaccurate,” Helen sat down next to Rhodey’s bed, looking at him. “If you hadn't had the suit, you would be dead. However, a fall from that height was never going to avoid injury. Your spinal cord has been completely severed at T10. At this time, there is no option for fixing it.”

“At this time?”

“Medical science is advancing every day. There may come a time when it can be repaired.”

“My options for my future?”

“There are some braces which would allow you to walk. But,” Helen held up a hand when Rhodey opened his mouth. “They can take years to master the use of. As it stands, you are facing a lot of rehab before you can even contemplate it.”

Rhodey nodded, scratching his head. “So where to now?”

“You will be under the care of Doctor Sanchez. He is a rehab specialist, with many years experience with injuries like yours. He will come to see you tomorrow, and discuss your options and plans.”

“So this is goodbye?”

Helen smiled at Rhodey, standing and holding his hand. “I am sorry, Rhodey. I am sorry I couldn’t do more.”

“Hey, Helen, you saved my life. Thank you.”

Helen smiled, squeezing Rhodey’s hand before leaving the room.

 

~~~

 

“May I come in?”

Rhodey looked up at the door; a woman stood there, one foot in the room. She was wearing a Marine’s uniform.

“I can’t exactly stop you,” he pointed out. The woman shrugged a shoulder.

“If you said no, I’d stay out.”

Rhodey waved a hand, and she walked in, closing the door behind her. She took one of the seats next to his bed, and held out a hand.

“I’m Colonel Nora Reynolds.”

Rhodey reached out and shook her hand. “Colonel James Rhodes. Though I suspect you know who I am.”

Nora nodded. “Indeed I do. As, I suspect, you know who I am.”

“Your reputation does precede you,  _ Doctor _ .”

Nora shrugged a shoulder. “I’m not here officially.”

“An informal introduction, then?”

“Of a sort,” Nora focused on Rhodey’s face. “I prefer meeting people outside of appointments, to be honest. Lets me see them without an act going on.”

“That doesn’t work when I know who you are.”

“No, it doesn’t. You’ve got a journey ahead of you, Colonel. You’re going to be facing a lot of challenges which you are not used to.”

Rhodey nodded, watching Nora curiously. “I am aware.”

“It would be beneficial for you to have someone to talk to. Someone who isn’t going to judge you, isn’t going to tell you what you should do.”

“And you’re that someone?”

“I can be. If you are okay with this. In the end, you can choose who you talk to.”

“But I have to talk to someone.”

“Yes.”

Rhodey blew a breath out of his mouth, before nodding. “Very well. When do we start?”

“Whenever you wish. I can come back tomorrow, if you want.”

“I meet with my rehab specialist tomorrow.” Rhodey narrowed his eyes at Nora. “But you knew that.”

Nora nodded. Rhodey looked at her, before nodding.

“Okay. I’ll see you here after my appointment then.”

 

~~~

 

“May I come in?”

Rhodey kept looking down at his hands. “Not stopping you, Doctor.”

Doctor Reynolds closed the door behind her, taking a seat beside Rhodey. “I take it your meeting with Doctor Sanchez did not go as you had hoped.”

Rhodey shook his head, looking up at the end of his bed. “I won’t start rehab for a month. Until then, I’m stuck in this bed.”

“Are you stuck in the bed?”

“I can leave the bed, if there’s someone to walk me in the chair,” Rhodey pointed next to the door, where a wheelchair sat ready.

“But you don’t have anyone to walk you.”

“No,” Rhodey stopped, waved a hand. “Yes, but no.”

“Yes, but no.”

“Tony’s busy. He’s still got the mess to clean.”

“Tony is the only person in your life?”

Rhodey looked at Doctor Reynolds, who was looking back at him impassively. He raised an eyebrow. “Not taking notes?”

Doctor Reynolds shrugged a shoulder. “If I feel the need to, I will. You’re avoiding the question.”

“Tony isn’t the only person in my life,” Rhodey blew out a breath, leaning back in his bed. “I can’t call mum. I don’t want her to see me like this.”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” Rhodey laughed. “That all you got to say?”

“Is that all you want to say?”

Rhodey shook his head, looking back at Doctor Reynolds. “You live up to your reputation, Doctor.”

Doctor Reynolds smiled at him. “Is that good or bad?”

“I haven’t decided yet.”

“What have you decided?”

Rhodey closed his eyes, before opening them. “I’m gonna call mum. Talk to her, let her know I’m alright.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll catch up on my paperwork, I’m sure there’s a lot I’ve been neglecting.”

“I’m sure your superiors will appreciate that.”

“Are you going to stay?”

“Not if you don’t want me to.”

“I would like to call my mum.”

“That’s alright. I will be back next week; if you want to talk before then, you have my number.”

“Thank you Doctor.”

 

~~~

 

Upon leaving the room, Nora came across Tony Stark sitting in the waiting room. She sat down next to him.

“You here to see Rhodes?”

He looked up from his phone, frowning at her. “And you are?”

She held out a hand. “Colonel Nora Reynolds. I was just talking to him.”

Tony shook the hand, before looking at her. “How is he?”

“Why don’t you ask him yourself?”

Tony looked away. “I can’t. I’ve got to meet someone in… oh, two minutes ago.”

“And you’re here because?”

Tony shrugged. “I’m worried about him, but don’t know how to talk to him.”

“He’s still your friend. That hasn’t changed. Talk to him as you always have. It was nice to meet you, Mr Stark.” Nora stood up and walked away; when she looked back at him, Tony was still sitting and staring at the blank white wall opposite him.

 

~~~

 

_ You can do this Rhodes,  _ Rhodey thought as he held the phone in his hands, staring at it. 

_“Rhodes residence,”_ came through the speaker. Rhodey wiped at his eyes, steeling his voice to answer.

“Hey mum.”

_ “James. It’s good to hear your voice. What’s new?” _

Rhodey shook his head, pausing for a moment. His mum knew, but was letting him talk about it on his terms.  _ Thank you mum. _

“There was an incident at work. I’m in the hospital. I’m… I’m going to be undergoing a lot of rehab. It’s not something that I can just walk away from.”

Roberta Rhodes was a smart woman; she knew what her son wasn’t telling her.  _ I’m hurting. I don’t want you to see me. _

_ “That’s unfortunate. Lila just got home- I assume you don’t want to talk to her?” _

“That’d be for the best.”

_ “Indeed. I want you to call me at any time. I don’t care if it’s the middle of the night. If you want to talk to me, you call me straight away. Even if it’s just to say hi.” _

Rhodey smiled through his tears. “Thanks mum.”

Ending the call, Rhodey noticed a new text message.

 

**FROM: CAROL [3.42pm]**

**[** I just got out of training, and turned on the news. I’m on my way **]**

 

**TO: CAROL [3.45pm]**

**[** Don’t suppose I can stop you. **]**

**FROM: CAROL [3.45pm]**

**[** Not a chance **]**


	2. Communication is key.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re not looking so good Fly Boy.”  
> -  
> Carol and Rhodey talk. Carol and Tony talk. Tony and Ross talk. Rhodey and Doctor Reynolds talk.

“You’re not looking so good Fly Boy.”

Rhodey looked up, smiling and opening his arms for a hug. “At least I look better than you.”

Carol shook her head as she hugged Rhodey. “Missed you.”

“Missed you too,” Rhodey whispered against her shoulder. They sat there for a moment in silence, holding on to each other tightly. 

“So, I go into lockdown for training,” Carol spoke as she pulled away and sat down next to Rhodey on the bed, watching him. “And when I come out of it, you’ll never guess what I heard.”

“What?”

“Someone,” Carol poked Rhodey’s chest with a smile. “Decided to pick a fight with  _ Captain America _ . Got himself all over the news as well.”

“That’s an overly simplistic way of looking at it.”

Carol shrugged, keeping the smile on her face. “I’m sorry, we can’t all be geniuses who went to MIT before being old enough to drink.”

Rhodey reached out to take Carol’s hand. “Tell me about training?”

“I hate lockdown,” Carol rolled her eyes, turning her hand to squeeze Rhodey’s. “I’m stuck with whoever else is stuck with me, and they’re never interesting. I think hanging around with you has ruined anyone else for me. But, the good news is that I will be leading the mission. So, that’s nice.”

“That’s great Carol. Do you get to choose your team?”

Carol made a seesaw motion with her free hand. “Sort of? They’re kind of throwing me into training with different combos, looking for the right fit. We’ll see.”

“Got a launch date?”

“Next year. The ship just has to be built, they don’t want to have it sitting around for too long.”

“Of course.”

Rhodey looked away; Carol twisted her lips, before putting on a smile again.

“You’ll never believe it, but Lonas is in the program.”

Rhodey looked at her, eyebrows high on his head. “Lonas? The first year flake?”

Carol laughed. “Yeah, the first year flake. He took the failure to heart, and set himself to training all the time. You wouldn’t recognise him.”

“You reckon he’ll make it?”

“He has as much chance as anyone else in the program.”

They fell silent, staring at each other.

“Uh, I’m sorry to interrupt,” they both turned to the door, where a nurse stood. “But it’s too late for visitors. Sorry.”

Carol smiled at the nurse. “Don’t worry about it. Let me say goodbye?” When the nurse nodded and left the room, Carol hugged Rhodey. “I’ll be back tomorrow, okay?” She spoke against his neck.

“You don’t have to.”

Carol beamed at Rhodey as they pulled apart. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Carol waved as she closed the door, before walking towards the elevator. 

She didn’t make it; once at the waiting room, she collapsed into a chair, and put her face in her hands, crying silently.

“That better not be Danvers I see crying.”

Carol’s head snapped up at the familiar voice. “Stark.”

Tony held out his arms; Carol immediately stood up and hugged him.

“It’s bad, isn’t it?” She asked when they pulled apart, sitting back down.

Tony nodded, sitting down next to Carol. “He’s not walking for a long time, possibly ever.”

“What happened?”

Tony tapped against his knees, looking past Carol. “Friendly fire.”

“Friendly fire?” Carol wiped her eyes, before they went wide. “Not you?”

“No,” Tony shook his head. “No, no. It was… someone else. God, Carol, the whole thing was a mess. The fact that Rhodey is the only one seriously injured is a miracle.”

Carol closed her eyes, trying to stop the tears from falling. “I’ve never seen him so…” She shook her head, unable to finish the sentence.

Tony reached out and took her hand. “Yeah. I know.”

“Tell me that you won,” Carol spoke a minute later, voice wobbly. When Tony didn’t answer, she opened her eyes and looked at him. “Tony, what happened?”

Tony shook his head. “There was no winner. There couldn’t be. Bureaucratic mess. Shouldn’t have done it. Can’t change it. Hindsight-”

Carol reached out and pulled Tony into a hug, stopping him from a never ending talk.

“Thank you,” Tony said when they pulled apart. 

“You living here?” 

Tony shrugged. “Sort of? Here and the boardroom, at least.”

“So the speculation is true?”

Tony knew what she was talking about. “Probably not. We’re not broken up. We’re not pregnant. We’re not married. We’re not divorced.” Tony stopped, rubbing his eyes. “We’re… taking a break. I haven’t… We haven’t spoken since before this mess.”

“Tony-” Tony held up a hand.

“I’ve done this with a lot of people Carol. I’d appreciate a new topic of conversation.”

Carol nodded, before offering Tony a smile. “I hear you’re working with Ross. He still an ass?”

“More than you’ll ever know.” Tony shook his head. “You want to walk home with a friend?”

“Sure.”

They walked out of the building, Tony’s arms around Carol’s shoulders. 

They didn’t see the cameras.

 

~~~

 

“You didn’t sleep.”

Rhodey offered this morning’s delivery person a bland smile. “What makes you say that?”

“I’ve been delivering breakfast for fifteen years,” they put the tray in front of Rhodey. “You get to know the signs.”

“Yeah, well, didn’t much feel like it.” Rhodey lifted the lid of his breakfast; porridge. “This all you’ve got?”

He got a nod in response. “For you, it’s mandated. I apologise, Mr Rhodes.”

Rhodey began pushing around his porridge as the delivery person left the room. 

“Hate porridge,” Rhodey pushed the bowl to the edge of the table. He retrieved his mobile, and took a photo of the porridge.

 

**TO: CAROL [7.15am]**

**[** Porridge. **]**

 

**FROM: CAROL [7.16am]**

**[** Talk to me when you spend a month eating the stuff. WITHOUT SUGAR, because SOMEONE used it all the first day. **]**

 

**FROM: CAROL [7.16am]**

**[** Oh wait, you would know. ;P **]**

 

**TO: CAROL [7.17am]**

**[** No idea what you’re talking about **]**

 

**FROM: CAROL [7.19am]**

**[** You sure you don’t have brain damage? **]**

 

**TO: CAROL [7.20am]**

**[** Pretty sure **]**

 

Rhodey shook his head, a ghost of a smile on his face as he dragged the porridge back towards him.

 

**~~~**

 

Carol shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut as she tapped her phone against her forehead. She had been sitting on one of the terraces of Stark Tower, watched the sunrise. 

“Gotta stay strong, Danvers,” she muttered to herself.

“Not all the time.”

She turned around; Tony stood there with a cup of coffee in each hand. 

She raised an eyebrow at him. “Sugar?”

Tony shook his head as he handed her a cup. “I know better than to incur your wrath.”

“Good,” Carol closed her eyes as she took a sip.”You sleep?”

“As well as you did, by the looks of it,” Tony shook his head, leaning against the railing. “I’ve got to meet with Ross. Again.”

“Yuck.”

“Pretty much. You got plans?”

“Try not to cry?” Carol held up a hand when Tony opened his mouth. “I’m on leave. I’ll probably go talk to Jim.”

“You alright?”

Carol shook her head. “I’m fine.”

Tony put a hand on her shoulder. “Call me if you want; I love walking out on Ross.”

Carol reached up to hold Tony’s hand. “You too, okay?”

“Me?” Tony walked backwards, smiling. “I’m always fine.”

_ Neither of us are,  _ Carol thought as she turned back to watch the city.

 

~~~

 

“I would ask why you are late, but I suspect I know the answer.”

Tony sat down in a chair opposite Ross, raising an eyebrow over the top of his glasses. “Because I don’t like you and I don’t want to be here?”

Ross shook his head, pushing forward a tablet. “Because you have been busy entertaining women.”

Tony sat up straighter, pulling the tablet to him.

\-----

**Stark Seen With Mystery Blonde**

Tony Stark has been seen with a mystery blonde, seemingly proving that his relationship with Ms Potts is well and truly over. Stark, who hasn’t been seen in public since the Airport Incident three days ago, was last night seen to walk with an arm around this blonde’s shoulders. The two seemed to be sharing a private conversation, laughing together many times.

Is this an appropriate time for Stark to return to his womanising ways? After all, the Avengers are in the middle of an international crisis. And sources say that Colonel Rhodes, Stark’s close friend, is bedridden in the same hospital that Stark and the blonde were seen walking out of together.

Whatever the case, it is clear that a reconciliation between Stark and Ms Potts is not going to happen.

\-----

 

Tony pushed the tablet away, rolling his eyes. “I’m impressed by the use of reconciliation. Big word.”

“You aren’t taking these talks seriously.”

“Yes, I am,” Tony leant forward on the table. “And if you believe everything the news says, then I overestimated your intelligence.”

Ross shook his head. “Let’s get to business.”

“You’re the one who brought up the article.”

“We need to find Rogers and Barnes.”

“And by find, you mean take out.”

“If that is necessary, yes.”

Tony pulled out his mobile, pretending to ignore Ross. It annoys Ross, and entertains Tony.

 

**TO: CAROL [9.47am]**

**[** I’m sorry. **]**

 

~~~

 

Carol frowned at her phone. “Why is Stark sorry?”

“If I may?” FRIDAY spoke. “I believe Boss is referring to this article.”

The article was displayed on the closest television; Carol shook her head at the picture.

“I hope Jim doesn’t see this.”

 

~~~

 

“I think I need to talk to you.”

_ “You think?” _

Rhodey shook his head, pressing the fingers of his free hand into his eyes. “Doctor Reynolds, I would like to make an appointment.”

_ “I can come by at lunchtime, if you would like.” _

“That’ll be perfect. See you then.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading everyone :)


	3. Context is helpful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhodey talks about his issues.  
> Sort of

**To: Carol [9.40am]**

How could you?

**[Unsent]**

 

**To: Tones [9.42am]**

How could you

**[Unsent]**

 

**To: Tones [10.03am]**

Trusted you.

So much. For so long.

And this is how you repay me?

**[Unsent]**

 

**To: Carol [10.15am]**

Do you remember that beach in 07? 

**[Unsent]**

 

**To: Carol [10.20am]**

I remember. The way you looked. The way you smiled

You said you’d never forget.

**[Unsent]**

 

**To: Carol [10.30am]**

Why

**[Unsent]**

 

**To: Tones [10.30am]**

Why

**[Unsent]**

 

~~~

 

“Hello James.”

Rhodey pushed away the tablet he had been staring it, and offered Doctor Reynolds a forced smile. “Doctor.”

“You wanted an appointment?”

“Yeah,” Rhodey waited until she had sat down, before beginning. “You seen the news?”

“I’ve seen a lot of news,” Doctor Reynolds said, watching Rhodey. “Could you be more specific?”

Rhodey blew out a breath. “I know it’s ridiculous. And I’m definitely overreacting. It’s just a picture, and the media blows everything out of context. But,” he paused to blow out a breath, and look at Doctor Reynolds. “I’m in here, and they’re not. So my mind is seeing things.”

“You are going to have to be more specific here.”

Rhodey pushed the tablet over. “It’s there.”

Doctor Reynolds turned on the tablet, and read the article. “Seems like a typical mountain out of an ant hill.”

“And it is,” Rhodey raised a hand, turning to face Doctor Reynolds. “I  _ know  _ it is. But… my best friend. And my…” Rhodey looked down at the blanket. “And Carol. Of course they’re with each other. But they’re out there, able to be  _ anywhere other than here _ .” Rhodey closed his eyes. “I’m sorry I raised my voice.”

“You don’t need to apologise for raising your voice.”

“I do though. It’s not right.”  _ Nothing is _ , Rhodey kept in his mouth. He shook his head. “I don’t know. I’ve been here a week, and I’m ready to leave.”

“That isn’t an option?”

Rhodey shook his head. “What’s the point? I’ll end up back here. At some point I’ll start rehab, I suppose.”

“You want to start rehab?”

“I want to be out of his hospital.” Rhodey wiped at his eyes, and fell silent.

“Have you spoken to anyone else?” Doctor Reynolds asked after a couple of minutes of silence.

“Who would I talk to? Tony’s not answering my calls, probably busy with Ross. Mum doesn’t need to hear this.”

“And there’s no one else you could be talking to?”

Rhodey looked at Doctor Reynolds. “I can’t talk to Carol, when Carol is the problem.”

“Carol is the problem?

Rhodey sighed, scratching the top of his head. “Carol has been a problem for about  thirty years.”

 

\---

 

“Is this the Robotics lab?”

Tony and Rhodey both looked up, seeing a woman standing in the doorway.

“Who are you?” Tony asked, eyes narrowed.

The woman smiled, stepping forward with an outstretched hand. “Carol Danvers. I’m touring the campus before semester starts.”

Tony stood up, wiping his hands on his pants before offering one to Carol. “I’m Tony. My friend’s Rhodey. You probably won’t be seeing much of us; we’re in the Masters program.”

“You look younger than me.”

“We probably are,” Rhodey stood up, giving Carol a smile. “How old are you?”

“17.”

Tony waved a hand at Rhodey. “Younger than him, at least. What brings you down to the Robotics lab?”

Carol shrugged a shoulder. “One of the potential pathways. I hope to join the Air Force one day, figure having a degree under my belt wouldn’t hurt.”

“Hey, she sounds like you,” Tony pointed at Rhodey before looking back at carol. “Now, if you don’t mind, this lab isn’t the one open for touring. There should have been a sign.” Tony turned narrowed eyes on Rhodey. “Did you put up the sign?”

Rhodey sighed. “I’ll go do that. You get back to your robot. I’ll show you out?” Rhodey said to Carol, who followed him out.

“So…” Carol smiled as Rhodey stuck a sign on the door. “Was that Tony  _ Stark _ ?”

“Of course you recognised him,” Rhodey nodded. “Yeah, it was. Don’t make a big deal about it?”

“Fine by me. I’m sorry for interrupting.”

“My fault,” Rhodey held up a hand. “I really should have put up the sign. Didn’t think anyone would want to tour the labs. On that note,” Rhodey pointed down the hall. “Take the left, and there’ll be an open door. Open lab, perfect for touring.”

“Thank you Rhodey,” Carol smiled widely. “Will I be seeing you around?”

“It’s a big campus; I’m sure we’ll cross paths at some point.”

 

\---

 

“Sounds like an interesting meeting,” Doctor Reynolds commented when Rhodey stopped talking.

Rhodey laughed. “Yeah, it was. I remember thinking that she was  _ amazing _ , and we had known each other for ten minutes.” Rhodey shook his head with a smile. “Tony didn’t stop teasing me for years.”

“So the three of you have been friends since then?”

“More or less.”

“More or less?”

“There have been times when me and Carol…” Rhodey trailed off, giving Doctor Reynolds a shrug of a shoulder. “Have been me and Carol. I guess that’s why seeing the news this morning was so hard.”

“You made a conclusion that wasn’t appealing to you. We all do that.”

“Yeah, but… I want to see her.”

“Have you tried talking to her?”

Rhodey shook his head. “I’ve tried. But every time I have to stop. I am not in the right mood to talk to her.”

“Then who are you ready to talk to?”

Rhodey thought for a moment. “Haven’t talked to Lila in a while. She’s my niece.”

“Sounds like a good place to start,” Doctor Reynolds looked up at the clock on the wall. “I’m sorry, James, but I have another appointment that I need to get to.”

“Of course. Thanks for listening.”

“Anytime.”

 

~~~

 

“Danvers.”

_ “Brass is asking for an eta on your return.” _

Carol sighed, pressing her free hand to her eyes. “I don’t know, alright? I can’t leave.”

_ “You are aware that this isn’t usual protocol. Leave such as this is usually restricted to matters pertaining to partners or direct family members. Unfortunately-” _

“Look, I get that whoever you are, are simply following orders from someone else. So this anger isn’t directed at you. But you can tell whoever it is listening in that I will come back when I am ready. Goodbye.”

Carol threw her phone across the room, hands on her head.

“I shouldn’t have done that.”

“If it is any consolation, the phone is still intact.”

Carol shook her head. “It’s not, but thanks FRIDAY.”

“Is there any way that I can help you?”

“What is my life,” Carol muttered as she wiped her eyes. “I don’t think so, FRIDAY. Thanks for asking.”

“I haven’t heard from Boss since he left Ross a day ago.”

Carol frowned. “Are you worried?”

“An AI cannot be worried.”

“Would you like me to be worried for you?”

“That would be appreciated, yes.”

Carol smiled at the AI, marvelling at its ability to be so full of life.

“Incoming call, Ms Danvers.”

“For me?”

“It would seem so.”

“Okay then FRIDAY.”

_ “Where is he?” _

Carol frowned at the voice. “Ross?”

_ “Don’t play games with me Danvers. Where is Stark?” _

“I’m sorry General, but I haven’t seen him since this morning. He was going to see you, if I recall.”

_ “You’ll regret helping him.” _

“The call has been disconnected, Ms Danvers. He did not sound pleased.”

“No FRIDAY, he did not. Tony is in trouble.”

“So it would seem.”

 

~~~

 

Rhodey listened to the ringing for three seconds before the phone was picked up.

_ “Rhodes residence.” _

“Hey Lila.”

_ “Uncle James? Since when did you call the home?” _

“Since always, you’re just never around to hear it.”

_ “You’re funny. I heard about things. You hacked into the hospital’s network yet?” _

Rhodey rolled his eyes; just like Lila to talk around a serious issue, before diffusing with a distraction. “Lila, you can’t just hack into networks everywhere you go.”

_ “I can. You can’t.” _

“You didn’t learn that at school.”

_ “Course not.” _

The silence was suspicious. “You’ve been talking to Uncle Tony.”

_ “Not recently…. He taught me this five years ago.” _

“Lila, you were twelve five years ago.”

_ “Yes, I am aware of that.” _

“Why does a twelve year old need to know hacking?”

_ “Why wouldn’t I?” _

“You know what, I claim plausible deniability. Tell me about school?”

_ “Really? School is school.” _

“Lila…”

_ “Alright. Challenging. For the first time, I’m being challenged. It’s great. There’s this professor...” _

As Rhodey listened to Lila talk, he slowly began to smile, the worries of the past week going to the back of his mind.

For now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading.  
> So I'm thinking of putting some backstory for Carol into the chapters like this. Or even potentially a full chapter at some point.  
> Also seriously considering giving Doctor Reynolds a family.  
> Let me know what you think, and see you next time :)


	4. To see the world anew

Just when Rhodey thought he would crawl his way out of the hospital, he was given permission to go outside every day. With supervision, of course. Usually this supervision came in the form of a nurse.

Whoever it was, they would occasionally try and talk to Rhodey, engage him in conversation. He was reluctant, not wanting to break down in front of a stranger.

He did like the fresh air, even if it was confined to the hospital grounds. He would watch the sky, try not to think about anything. 

(That never worked for him; he always ended up thinking about something.)

“Uncle Rhodey.”

Rhodey’s eyes snapped open.

“Lila? What are you doing here?”

Lila gave Rhodey a hug, before standing in front of him, one hand on her backpack. “Wanted to come and see you. You sounded funny on the phone last week. I talked to the nurse,” Lila nodded behind Rhodey; the nurse who had come out with him had moved away, talking to some of the other patients. “We’ve got some time to talk.”

“Aren’t you meant to be at school?”

Lila shrugged a shoulder. “I talked to the professors, explained that my uncle had been seriously injured at work and I wanted to go and see him. Asked what work I would miss, and handed it in yesterday.” Lila laughed. “I’d already finished the assignments for the semester, just wait until the due date to hand them in. None of the professors had an issue.”

Rhodey shook his head. “You sound like someone I went to university with.”

“Uncle Tony?” When Rhodey frowned at her, she just smiled. “Whenever you refer to ‘someone you went to university with’, its usually Uncle Tony.”

“Fair point,” Rhodey pointed to a bench nearby. “Want to sit down? I’ll need a hand.”

Lila pushed Rhodey over to the bench, before sitting down next to him. 

“Mum know you’re here?”

“Of course. Like I’d try and run away from her,” Lila rolled her eyes, kicking her feet against the grass. “She’s worried about you. Keeps baking cookies. I think I’ve put on weight in chocolate chips; my roommate certainly has.”

“Mum does love to cook,” Rhodey could remember many times from his life where he’d be taking food to school for  _ weeks  _ after a Roberta Rhodes Cooking Spree ™. “So, you have a roommate?”

Lila gave Rhodey a look that she reserved for annoying people. “Of course I have a roommate. Why wouldn’t I?”

“I’ve never heard you talk about a roommate before.”

Lila sighed, opening her backpack and retrieving a tupperware container. She offered it to Rhodey, before eating a cookie herself. “Riri is an interesting person. She’s good at what she does.”

Rhodey frowned at the container, looked over his shoulder at the nurse (who was pointedly giving Rhodey and Lila some privacy), before taking a cookie.

“And what does she do?”

“Robots. Electronics.”

“So basically your stuff.”

Lila nodded. “Yeah. We’ve spent a few nights building things in the dorm.”

“Sounds like fun.”

“It is,” Lila went back into her bag, pulling out an exercise book and handing it to Rhodey. “That’s our project book. Thought you might like looking it over?”

Rhodey opened the book; some pages were sketches of electronics, some were covered in equations. One page was…

“Lila, are the two of you attempting to recreate the Iron Man armour?”

Lila looked at the page Rhodey was opened to, and smiled at him. “No?”

“Lila, does your roommate know that you know Iron Man?”

“No.”

“Why is this in here then?”

“Well…” Lila trailed off, putting another cookie in her mouth.

“You’ve already made a prototype.”

“Yeah,” Lila admitted, after Rhodey stared at her until she spoke. “Don’t look at me, it wasn’t my idea. I just made sure she didn’t blow up the dorm.”

Rhodey blew out a breath, rubbing his chin with a hand. “Does it work?”

“Yep. Don’t worry, we’re not flying it.” Lila gave Rhodey a smile. “It’s for a competition. First prize is a full ride, and Riri deserves it.”

“You didn’t use your knowledge to help her?” When Lila shook her head, Rhodey smiled. “Good job. I’d love to see it someday.”

“Sure thing,” Lila gave Rhodey another cookie, before putting the container back into her bag. “So… I guess there’s a vacancy for the War Machine armour?”

Rhodey laughed. “Lila, there is no way you are stepping foot in the War Machine armour.”

“I know,” Lila smiled at Rhodey. “Figured it’d get a laugh out of you. Being stuck in one room for so many days is not good.”

“Lila, I love you, and I am only saying this out of love,” Rhodey looked Lila in the eyes, expression serious. “Please stop hacking into the hospital’s records.”

“It isn’t the eighties, nobody says hack anymore.”

“He told you about that?”

“Course he did,” Lila smiled. “Don’t worry, I only looked to see how long you’ve been here. I didn’t look at any details.”

“I believe you.”

“Of course you do; I’m very trustworthy.” Lila blew out a breath, before looking away from Rhodey. “How are you and Aunt Carol?”

“Why do you ask?”

“I read the news. Sometimes,” Lila looked back at Rhodey. “I made a news app which only loads with articles that mention you or Aunt Carol.”

“Not Uncle Tony?”

Lila gave him a Look. “I am yet to read an article about him that is true.”

“And the ones about me are?”

Lila shrugged a shoulder, looking away. “Sometimes you’re gone, and we don’t hear about you. At least when the media mention you, I get some idea of where you are.”

“Lila,” Rhodey held out his arm; Lila leant in for the hug. “You know I sometimes have to go on missions that you can’t know about.”

“I know.”

Rhodey closed his eyes, pulling Lila closer to kiss her head. “Thank you. You are amazing.”

“I know,” Lila pulled back, smile on her face. Rhodey shook his head. “So, Aunt Carol?”

“Is Aunt Carol,” Rhodey said, blowing out a breath and looking out at the grass. Lila hummed next to him.

“So, one of those times?”

“Yeah,” Rhodey shook his head before continuing. “Last week wasn’t a good time for me. I’ve been in that room for… I don’t know, I lost track. I saw the photos, I’m certain you know which ones. I acted… I almost did something bad. But I didn’t. And I can’t believe that I’m talking to a seventeen year old about relationships.”

“If it helps, don’t think of me as your seventeen year old niece. Think of me as your relationship expert.”

Rhodey raised an eyebrow. “A seventeen year old relationship expert?”

Lila stuck out her tongue. “Fine. I won’t give you advice then.”

“Fine,” Rhodey opened up the notebook again. He turned to a random page, and smiled. “You made a mistake.”

“Where?” Just like he knew she would, Lila immediately jumped up, scanning over the equations. Rhodey held his laughter for a moment, before it burst out. Lila looked up, and frowned.

“You’re mean.”

“No he’s not.”

Both Rhodes turned as one; Carol stood there, a smile on her face.

“Aunt Carol!” Lila jumped up and threw her arms around Carol. Carol returned the hug.

“Lila, it’s been too long.”

“Yeah, you should come over next time you’re in the area.” Lila looked at Carol for a moment, before getting her notebook. “I’m gonna go distract the nurse. Give you two a moment.”

“How are you going to distract the nurse?”

Lila smiled at Carol. “So, I was thinking of becoming a nurse. Any advice?”

“Ooh, nice. Have fun.”

“Always.”

Carol watched Lila walk away, before sitting next to Rhodey.

“I’m sorry.”

“I know the news is wrong.” Rhodey stared ahead, as did Carol. “I was upset, at first. But then I realised, you and Tony? Never happen.”

“Never happen,” Carol echoed. “I hated it. I forgot what hanging around Tony entails, and I knew it would hurt you. I am sorry.”

“Don’t beat yourself up over it. I doubt that’s why you’re here.”

“It’s not,” Carol closed her eyes, blowing out a breath. She then turned to Rhodey. “Tony’s missing.”

Rhodey turned to face her. “What?”

“He went to see Ross last week; Ross called me in the afternoon, asking where he was. FRIDAY doesn’t know where he is.” Carol shook her head. “I’ve got no idea.”

“Does FRIDAY have any ideas?”

Carol nodded. “She has his last known location; but it’s in the middle of nowhere, Siberia. And she says that the suit’s offline.”

Rhodey reached out, taking Carol’s hand. “It’s not your fault.”

“I know.” Carol wiped at her eyes. “But it’s been a week. Last time he went that long without contact…”

Rhodey squeezed Carol’s hand. “Yeah. I remember.”

“I was going to fly out to his last known location, see if I can find anything.”

“Carol…”

“I’ll be fine. I’ll be in constant contact with FRIDAY, and I’ll keep you updated every hour.”

“Make it every half hour.”

“Will do.”

Carol shifted so that she could hug Rhodey. Rhodey lifted his arms to hug her back.

“I’m sorry for not being by sooner,” Carol said as she pulled back. “I’ve been worried about Tony.”

“It’s okay; I’m not going anywhere. Go find our idiot, and keep me updated.”

“Yes boss,” Carol leant in to kiss Rhodey’s cheek, and lingered a moment. She closed her eyes, before pulling back and standing. “I’ll text you when I take off, and every half hour afterwards.”

Carol gave one final wave, before walking to say goodbye to Lila. Rhodey closed his eyes, shaking his head.

“Aunt Carol gave me the cliff notes,” Rhodey opened his eyes; Lila was standing behind his chair, ready to move him. “Uncle Tony’s gone AWOL?”

“Sounds like it. You taking me back to my cage?”

“Nurse says it’s time. You want the nurse?”

“Nah, you can manage. I hope.”

“You are the most  _ wonderful  _ Uncle,” Lila said this with a smile, causing Rhodey to smile. 

“And you’re the most  _ wonderful  _ niece.”

“I know.” Lila leant down while they were in the elevator, giving Rhodey a smile. “It’ll be alright. Aunt Carol will find the idiot, and you can have one of your parties where you and Aunt Carol have an awesome time together.”

“Lila.”

“Hey, what you get up to in your bed is no business of mine,” Lila said as they exited the elevator. Rhodey put his head in his hands.

“I am not talking about this with you.”

“Doesn’t mean it’s not true. Room eighteen, yeah?”

“Don’t act like you don’t know; I know you looked it up.”

Lila patted Rhodey’s shoulder. “At least you didn’t say hack.”

Rhodey was about to reply, but they had arrived at his room. The door was open, and there was a person sitting on his bed. The light from the window blocked his view, until Lila pushed the chair further into the room, closing the door behind her.

“Pepper.”

Pepper stood up, tucking her hair behind her ear. 

“Hello James.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :) Let me know what you thought.  
> We're moving along with the plot now. Things are going to get interesting.


	5. To See Through the Gaze of Youth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pepper appears. Plot progresses.  
> Rhodey has some tough times coming up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who do not follow me on tumblr (jenjo93.tumblr.com):  
> It's coming up to the end of Uni for me. Consequently, a lot of assignments are happening at once. My writing is not going to be as frequent as it has been. I will not be abandoning ANY of my stories; October and the first half of November are just a bit full.  
> Thank you for reading :)

“Hello James.”

Rhodey stared at Pepper, not answering straight away. Lila stepped forward, opening her arms.

“Hey Aunt Pepper.”

Pepper walked over to hug Lila. “Lila. It’s good to see you.”

“You too. It’s been too long. You going to stop by the house sometime?”

“Maybe.” Pepper looked at Rhodey, who was looking back to her. The two didn’t say anything.

Lila looked between the two, before moving to give Rhodey a hug. “I’ll come back in a couple of hours.”

“Where are you going?”

Lila shrugged a shoulder, giving Rhodey a smile. “Out.”

Rhodey shook his head as he heard the door close behind him.

“She’s grown.”

“Yeah,” Rhodey looked at Pepper. “Why are you here?”

“I wanted to check on my friend. I haven’t seen you since…” Pepper trailed off, sitting back on the hospital bed.

“The Tower. Six months ago,” Rhodey tilted his head. “Your anniversary dinner.”

“Exactly. Six years,” Pepper shook her head, wiping at an eye. “But I’m not here to talk about me.”

“Don’t ask me how I am,” Rhodey held up a hand. “I am sick of that question. Why weren’t you at MIT?”

Pepper blinked, before nodding. “I understand. And I wanted to be there, but I was prevented from attending.”

“How?”

“Thaddeus Ross. I can’t prove anything, but someone was sending me all over Asia, making sure that I couldn’t talk to Tony.”

“He was saying that the two of you were on a break.”

Pepper shrugged a shoulder. “Maybe we were, maybe it was his way of keeping me out of it. I wanted to talk to him, I really did. But like I said, someone was keeping me away from Tony, so I couldn’t talk to him.”

Rhodey wiped his hands over his face. “This is beyond the Accords. That man has almost single handedly destroyed the Avengers. I don’t know what to say.”

“This is the first day I’ve been in America in almost three months,” Pepper shook her head. “Someone wanted me out of the way.”

“Tony might’ve wanted to keep you safe.”

“He would have told me.” Pepper reached up to hold onto her red necklace. “When he gave me this, he made a promise. No more secrets between us. Did you know, he called me as soon as Ultron happened? Told me to get off the grid. He told me, after SHIELD fell, that being Iron Man would be harder than ever. He honestly thought about giving it all up. But he couldn’t.” Pepper shook her head, then looked at Rhodey. “If Tony was behind me staying away, he would have told me. This was… this was someone else.”

“Why did you say Ross?”

“There were whispers about him planning something, before I left,” Pepper offered Rhodey a smile. “I spend a lot of time around people who know things. Ross has been making moves for a long time. Remember back when the Hulk attacked Harlem? Ross was disgraced. Yet, here he is, on a global stage, in a prominent position? Something happened.”

Rhodey closed his eyes, pressing his fingers into them. “I cannot even begin to think about this right now.”

“Of course!” Pepper stood up, coming to hug Rhodey. “I’m so sorry to show up like this. But as soon as I touched down, I knew I had to see you.”

Rhodey returned the hug. “It’s a mess Pep. Everything's a mess, and I don’t know how we’re going to fix it.”

“We don’t have to,” Pepper pulled back, returning to sit on the bed. “We’re not alone.”

“Tony’s missing.”

Pepper’s eyes widened in shock. “What?”

“FRIDAY hasn’t heard from him in a week. Carol,” Rhodey’s phone vibrated; Pepper got it, and passed it to him. “Carol is on her way to his last known location.”

“Oh my god,” Pepper raised a hand to her mouth, eyes beginning to water. “Is there anything I can do?”

Rhodey shook his head. “Carol will let us know what she finds out. It’s not good, Pepper. And I’m stuck here. Unable to do anything.” Rhodey looked down at his hands in his lap. “Stuck.”

“It’s terrible, and awful, and there’s nothing we can do,” Pepper spoke into the silence that had fallen. Rhodey raised his head to look at her; she was holding her hands out in front of her. “It is what it is, and we can’t worry about the things we can’t change.”

Pepper stood up, nodding to herself. “I’m going to go to the tower. Now that I’m back, maybe FRIDAY can help me tie Ross into things.” Pepper gave Rhodey a hug. “Look after yourself.”

“You too.”

“I’ll send Lila back,” Pepper squeezed Rhodey’s shoulder, before leaving the room, closing the door behind her. 

Once he heard the door close, Rhodey let out the tears he had been holding on to since Carol told him that Tony was missing.

_ And I’m stuck in here, unable to help. _

 

~~~

 

Lila was sitting in a waiting room, notebook open in her lap and mobile in hand.

 

**FROM: RI [4.31pm]**

**[** I need your help **]**

**TO: RI [4.32pm]**

**[** Of course you do ;) **]**

 

**FROM: RI [4.33PM]**

**[** I’m sending you a pic of my equation. Can’t figure out what’s wrong. Fix it? **]**

 

**TO: RI [4.34pm]**

**[** I’ll see what I can do **]**

 

**FROM: RI [4.35pm]**

**[** Best. **]**

 

**TO: RI [4.35pm]**

**[** Oh, I am aware. **]**

 

**FROM: RI [4.36pm]**

**[** Why do I allow you to hang around me? **]**

 

**TO: RI [4.37pm]**

**[** Pretty sure it’s ME who allows YOU to hang around ;P **]**

 

“Who has you smiling like that?”

Lila looked up; Pepper was standing in front of her, head tilted with a smile on her face. Lila put her mobile in her pocket, and her exercise book away.

“No one.”

“No one.” Pepper sat next to Lila. “Right.”

Lila rolled her eyes. “My roommate. If you must know.”

“Riri? How is she?”

“You remember her name?” Lila shook her head. “Course you do. Riri’s great. She’s gonna win the science competition.”

“That’s great to hear.” Pepper looked away. Lila reached out to take Pepper’s hand, squeezing it.

“Hey, how have  _ you  _ been?”

Pepper smiled, looking back at Lila. “You really want to hear about my business trip to Asia?”

“Of course!” Lila straightened up, focusing entirely on Pepper. “I love listening to your stories, Aunt Pepper. What happened this time?”

“Let me see… there was this one CEO,  _ typical  _ looking CEO.” Pepper rolled her eyes, causing Lila to giggle. “Typical acting too. Disregarded me, so I offered the contract to another company. A smaller one, possibly not the best  _ business  _ strategy. But we’ll survive, and the small company gets a chance to grow.”

Lila laughed along with Pepper. “You always do the right thing.”

“I try to,” Pepper sighed, looking at her watch. “I have to get going.”

“Business to run, of course,” Lila stood up, pulling Pepper up into a hug. “It was good to see you again.”

“You too,” Pepper said, pulling back. “You keep yourself good, alright?”

“Me?” Lila held a hand to her chest, looking affronted. “You’re telling  _ me  _ to be good?”

Pepper shook her head. “You have some questionable influences.”

“Only the best,” Lila winked, before turning to head to her uncle’s room. 

She had a smile on her face; despite the circumstances, she had seen three of the most important people in her life while growing up in the past two days. In her life, that just didn’t happen. Her smile dropped when she opened the door to Rhodey’s room, the sound of crying quickly disappearing. 

“Hey Li,” Rhodey wiped his eyes, voice rough. “What’s up?”

Lila shook her head, dropping her backpack so that she could hug her uncle unencumbered. As soon as she wrapped her arms around him, he began crying again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading.  
> This story focuses on Rhodey. Because of this, I have decided to put other stories into a series. Stories which relate to the events of this story, but not necessarily Rhodey-centric.  
> The first of that series, will feature Carol looking for Tony. I'm hoping to finish it sometime this week.  
> A preview of that story:  
> “Anything, FRIDAY?”  
> “You will be the first person I tell.”  
> “Did you-”  
> “An automatic message is being sent to Rhodey every fifteen minutes, using the variations you provided.”  
> Carol smiled, powering down the jet she had flown. “Thank you. Any suggestions before I head out?”  
> “Put on the headset in the compartment to your left.”  
> Carol opened the compartment, and put on the headset. “And?”  
> The words had no sooner left her mouth than the display in front of her left eye lit up with readings of all kinds.  
> “FRIDAY, what am I seeing?”  
> “You are in remote control of the XLV armour.”


	6. To see a new light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhodey gets an update re: rehab

Lila sat on that hospital bed for over an hour, listening to Rhodey talk. Talk about things that she knew he didn’t want to tell her, but had to get out. Occasionally, his phone would vibrate; he;d look at it, before shaking his head and continuing to talk. Sometimes he talked about university, with a smile on his face. Then other times, he would barely be able to speak around his tears.

They were interrupted when the door opened, and in walked Doctor Reynolds, with Doctor Cho as well.

Rhodey straightened up, wiping at his eyes. Lila jumped off of the bed, smiling at the two women.

“Hi, I’m Lila,” she offered her hand to Doctor Reynolds, who smiled.

“Nora, nice to meet you.”

Lila then turned to Helen. “Helen, nice to see you again.”

“And you, Lila. How is Professor Smith?”

Lila rolled her eyes. “You know, nothing new.”

Helen laughed. “I can imagine. Would you mind if we borrowed your uncle for a little while?”

Lila looked back at Rhodey, who nodded.

“No problem, I  _ should  _ be getting back. Probably gonna be home late as it is.”

“Lila, if mum calls me to yell because you got home late, I’ll come and burn all your books.”

Lila hugged Rhodey, smile on her face. While hugging him, she whispered, “if you need anything, just text. Please.”

“Of course,” Rhodey whispered back, before letting go and making a shooing motion. “Now go, before you get me in trouble.”

Lila wave dover her shoulder, pausing just in front of the other two women. “He wouldn’t burn all my books; he’s been threatening it for  _ years _ .”

Lila closed the door behind her, leaving Rhodey with the two doctors.

“I assume there is a reason for you both to be here?”

Doctor Reynolds nodded, taking a seat next to Rhodey’s bed. Helen did the same, sitting beside her. 

“I have been speaking with your specialists, as well as several leaders in the field,” Helen spoke, while Doctor Reynolds watched Rhodey. Rhodey, for his part, kept his eyes on Helen. “They are all in agreement that, physically speaking, you are ready to begin physical rehab.”

“Physical rehab. What would that entail?”

“It would be a slow process. There would be no real timeline. Each week would be reassessed, but the general idea would be for you to explore the possibility of being able to walk again, in whatever form that will take.”

“Form?”

“Whether you regain full control of your legs, partial control, or no control at all, it is unknown. Hence, the week by week analysis. But whatever level of control you have, there are options.”

“Physically ready…” Rhodey trailed off when his phone vibrated.

 

**FROM: CAROL [7.16am]**

**[** Snow sucks **]**

 

Rhodey frowned, pushing his phone away. 

“Something wrong?” Helen asked. Rhodey shook his head.

“No, sorry. Physically ready?”

Helen looked at Doctor Reynolds, who was still watching Rhodey. “You require,” Helen spoke, looking back at Rhodey. “Approval, is the best word for it. Approval to begin physical rehabilitation.”

“I see,” Rhodey said, turning to face Doctor Reynolds for the first time. “And that is why you are here.”

Doctor Reynolds nodded. “Yes. I will assess you, and provide my recommendation. You are entitled to another opinion, if you so desire.”

Rhodey nodded. “I understand. We starting now?”

“If you are happy to.”

Rhodey turned to Helen. “Thank you Helen.”

“My pleasure, Rhodey,” Helen stood, nodding at Doctor Reynolds, before leaving the room. Doctor Reynolds sat more comfortably on her chair, while Rhodey ignored his phone.

“Someone seems to be trying to get your attention,” Doctor Reynolds gestured to his phone. Rhodey shook his head.

“No they’re not. They’re trying to convince me that they’re keeping me updated, but they’re not.” Rhodey looked at Doctor Reynolds. “Tony’s been missing, Carol went to find him. Asked her to keep me updated, but they’re automated messages.”

“I see.”

“And I want to be out there. Last time he was missing, I stopped at nothing to find him. Almost got myself court martialled for it. But not this time.” Rhodey shook his head, watching his hands shake. “This time, I’m stuck here, and I can’t even walk to the bathroom without it being a huge production.”

“You are allowed to feel upset at your situation, no one would blame you.”

Rhodey looked up at Doctor Reynolds. “I know that. I feel  _ useless _ .”

“And that is a perfectly valid feeling. You were the one to find him last time, you should be the one to find him this time.”

“Exactly!” Rhodey pointed at Doctor Reynolds, nodding. “Exactly. Carol’s out there, and what if whatever took out Tony is still there? She doesn’t have a suit of armour to protect her.”

“If I recall correctly,” Doctor Reynolds spoke with a small smile on her face. “You didn’t exactly have a suit of armour when you went looking for him last time.”

“You’re right,” Rhodey shrugged, looking beyond Doctor Reynolds. “But that was a different time. It’s hilarious to think it, but the Ten Rings pale in comparison to what we face these days.”

“I understand.”

“I suppose you want to start assessing me for rehab suitability?”

Doctor Reynolds leant forward, as though she was sharing a secret with Rhodey. “Who says I haven’t started already?”

Rhodey shook his head. “You’re good.”

“I hope so.”

Rhodey sighed, rubbing at his thighs absent mindedly. “I can’t feel anything. And sometimes, that  _ scares  _ me. More than anything I’ve ever faced before, I think. I wake up in the middle of the night, heart racing. I remember falling, but I don’t remember what I was thinking.” Rhodey frowned, shaking his head. “I should remember, shouldn’t I?”

“Each person’s journey is unique. Who is to say what is right and wrong?”

“I’ve met a lot of people with stories. They always remember what they were thinking.”  _ But I don’t _ , he doesn’t say. Rhodey took a deep breath, before looking back at Doctor Reynolds. “I’m not ready.”

“No?”

Rhodey shook his head, before pausing. “Maybe? I should  _ want  _ to see if I can walk again. But I think about it, and all I can see is falling.” Rhodey rubbed his forehead. “I’m a mess. If I can’t get my thoughts in order, how can you clear me?”

Doctor Reynolds stayed silent for a moment, before speaking. “I believe you to be ready. And maybe you get there, and decide that you can’t do it. And that is a valid response. It’s going to be a journey, one that is not always going to move forward at the same pace. But you understand that. I will not stop you from taking the first step, if you will excuse the poor cliche.”

Rhodey smiled at that. “Yeah, that was poor.”

“I apologise.”

Rhodey held up a hand. “Don’t, it proves you’re human.” Rhodey turned when his phone vibrated with a phone call. “Who is calling me?”

Rhodey picked up his phone, mouthing ‘sorry’ to Doctor Reynolds. Doctor Reynolds smiled, nodding her head to let Rhodey know that this was okay.

“Rhodes.”

After hearing the next three words, Rhodey would not be able to control his expression any more. .

_ “I’ve got him.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you would like to read how Carol found Tony, the third story in this series, 'Rescues and Reunions', is all about the rescue.  
> So! We're moving forward. I am not a doctor, and do not claim to be. Any medical advice that Rhodey receives is fictional, and should not be treated seriously.  
> Also, I am not a psychiatrist. Any advice that Doctor Reynolds gives Rhodey should not be treated as serious advice.  
> Lila's friends with everyone, and is that really a surprise?  
> I'll probably be writing a little thing about her soon.  
> And possibly about Doctor Reynolds.....  
> If there's anything you want to see in this universe, please let me know.
> 
> Thank you for reading, and see you next time :)


	7. To be at a loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhodey moves forward in his rehab.  
> Carol's at a loss as to how to help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I'm not a doctor. Any medical advice received in this story is a work of fiction and should not be treated seriously.

_ “...exactly what happened between the Avengers is still at this time unknown. All that is known, is that the Sokovia Accords will be signed into effect, with King T’Challa of Wakanda taking his father’s place as chief spokesperson for the cause. When asked for comment, Stark Industries issued the following statement: _

 

Stark Industries will continue to act in accordance with any and all government mandates. Stark Industries is also taking this opportunity to reiterate that any actions taken by Mr Stark are done without consultation with the company. Therefore, any actions taken by Mr Stark should not be taken to be a reflection of the company’s views. 

 

_ “Exactly what this means is unclear, given that Mr Stark himself is unavailable for comment. Sources close to the man in question say that he is putting together a new, secret team to work outside the law. Other sources claim that he is finally retiring the Iron Man armour. Whatever the case, ti is clear that the events of the past month have done nothing but guarantee the signing of the Accords.” _

 

“Impressive statement,” Tony said to Pepper, eating his breakfast. 

Pepper gave him a look, before returning to her emails. “Hardly. Something legal helped me whip up. These sources are concerning me. Who is talking?”

“No one,” Tony pushed aside his finished breakfast, picking up his tablet to work on his designs from last night. “When the media says ‘sources’, it’s basically fake. Made up to sound impressive.”

“Tony, you were supposed to eat slowly,” Pepper put her phone down, taking the plate and putting it on the table at the foot of the bed. “Also, you’re not supposed to be working on anything. Remember?”

“This is important Pep,” Tony gestured to his tablet. “Possibly the most important thing I ever work on.”

“Tony,” Pepper sat back down in her chair, looking at Tony pleadingly. “You spent the last week alone, close to death. You’ve been here a night.  _ Please  _ relax.”

Tony looked at her, before turning off his tablet. “Designing helps me relax.”

“I know,” Pepper nodded, taking the tablet. “But I can also see the strain that holding the tablet is taking on your hands. Give it a day.”

“Alright,” Tony relented; it  _ was  _ hard to hold the tablet without his hands shaking. “Tell me about you?”

Pepper smiled. “What about me?”

“Tell me what your plans are for today?”

“Staying right here.” Pepper gestured to her chair. “I’m working from home today.”

“Won’t that look suspicious?”

Pepper shrugged, pushing her hair off of her shoulder. “Don’t care.”

Tony was about to reply, when the door opened, and in walked Carol.

“Hey Carol.”

“Tony, Pepper,” Carol nodded, before coming to sit on Tony’s other side. She looked exhausted.

“What’s wrong?” Pepper asked, clearly worried. Carol waved her off.

“Nothing.”

“Which is why you are here,” Tony looked at her. “Spill, Danvers.”

Carol took a deep breath, before lifting her hands in the air. “I don’t know what to do! “ She put her head into her hands, shaking it. “I don’t know what to do.”

Tony and Pepper shared a look, before Pepper stood and put a hand on Carol’s shoulder.

“Come on Carol, let’s go get a coffee.”

Carol looked up, and looked to Tony. Tony nodded at her, and Carol stood up, wiping at her eyes as she and Pepper left the room.

 

~~~

 

“Welcome back.”

Carol frowned at Rhodey’s tone, coming to sit next to him. “Hello?”

Rhodey looked at her out of the corner of his eye. “Have fun?”

“What?  _ No _ . What?”

Rhodey sighed, turning to look at her. “I know they were automated, Carol. Couldn’t even do me the courtesy of  doing the  _ one thing  _ I asked.”

“Okay, what’s really wrong. No,” Carol held up her hand when Rhodey opened his mouth. “No, this anger is not about me getting FRIDAY to send the messages. This is something else.”

Rhodey crossed his arms, looking away. “Maybe it  _ is  _ about the messages.”

“See, I know you too well. It’s not about the messages.”

“But maybe it is,” Rhodey spoke, still not looking at Carol. “Maybe it is about how you’re treating me different since I’ve been in here.”

“Of course I’m treating you different! I can’t exactly say, hey, let’s go for a walk at the beach. Because that’s not realistic. So I’m sorry if you wanted me to treat you like I did before, but I can’t. I’m sorry you couldn’t help me find Stark, but you couldn’t. I don’t know what you want me to do,” Carol was shaking by the end, barely keeping herself from crying.

Rhodey stayed silent.

Carol shook her head, getting up and leaving the room.

 

~~~

 

“I don’t know Pepper,” Carol held her cup, too afraid to pick it up. She stared into the liquid, looking for the answers to an impossible question. “I don’t know what to do.”

“It’s a difficult situation Carol, and not one that I can offer any advice on. Sorry.”

Carol looked up, smiling at Pepper’s obvious concern. “Thank you for listening to me rant?”

“Anytime.”

“Still,” Carol returned to staring at her coffee. “I want to help. But I don’t know how to. And he won’t  _ let me in _ .”

Pepper reached across the table to hold one of Carol’s hands. “You are here for him, and that counts for something.”

“It doesn’t feel like it.”

“He’ll work through it in his way. Knowing that you’re here means a lot to him, even if he isn’t saying it right now.”

“Still feels  _ wrong _ ,” Carol frowned at her drink.  _ So wrong. _

Pepper just tightened her hold on Carol, not quite sure what to say to help her.

 

~~~

 

**TO: TONES (10.30am)**

**[** I hear youre home? **]**

 

**FROM: TONES (10.35am)**

**[** Not really. Hospital food is boring. **]**

 

**TO: TONES (10.360am)**

**[** Couldve told you that **]**

 

**FROM: TONES (10.39am)**

**[** Yes, thank you for warning me. How are the legs? **]**

 

Rhodey turned off his phone, putting it in the bedside table.  _ Not even going there today. _

 

~~~

 

“Hello Colonel Rhodes.”

Rhodey looked up at the door. “Doctor Sanchez.”

“I hear your session with Doctor Reynolds was cut short last night,” Doctor Sanchez walked to sit beside Rhodey. “However, she tells me that you are cleared to begin. Think of this as an introductory session.”

“Okay,” Rhodey nodded, turning to face Doctor Sanchez. “What will we be doing?”

Doctor Sanchez smiled at Rhodey. “Do you want to walk?”

“Excuse me?”

“It’s an important question in my line of work. I work with a lot of different people; not all of them wish to regain full use of their limbs. Sometimes this is for a particular reason; age, perhaps. Some people are fully expecting to regain full control, and will not stop for anything less. So, I ask you again Colonel Rhodes: do you want to walk?”

Rhodey sat silent, thinking over the doctor’s words. He eventually nodded with his eyes closed. “Yes.”

“Good. Then we have a start,” Doctor Sanchez stood up, and retrieved Rhodey’s x-rays. “Hmm… yes. It has been a week and a half since your accident. Natural healing has not yet occurred, but that is to be expected. I believe your best course of action will be a slow process, gradually adding more movement each week.” Doctor Sanchez returned Rhodey’s charts, before smiling at him. “Any questions?”

“When do we start?”

“Tomorrow, Colonel. I will return then.”

“Thank you Doctor Sanchez.”

Doctor Sanchez nodded, before leaving the room. Rhodey let out the breath he had not realised he had been holding. Even the  _ potential  _ for regaining the ability to walk was filling him with… cautious optimism, would be how he’d verbalise the feeling.

_ I should tell Carol,  _ he thought, before remembering what had happened that morning.  _ On second thought, maybe not. _

He reached for his phone, turning it on. Ignoring the messages, he dialled perhaps the most important number.

_ “Rhodes residence.” _

“Hey mum.”

_ “James! It is lovely to hear from you. I was just sitting down for a cup of tea, would you like to hear about my latest recipe?” _

Rhodey smiled instantly at his mother’s voice;  _ she always knows how to distract me when I need it most. _

“Is it a caramel cupcake?”

_ “No! My caramel cupcake is already perfect. No, this was by request of LIla’s new friend. She wanted a soup so thick that a spoon could stand in it, while also being able to be eaten for a week. You know, typical college lifestyle.” _

“So you made them cabbage soup?”

_ “That would be disgusting James, and I cannot believe you would even suggest such a thing for two poor innocent girls. No, I made them this delicious concoction filled with vegetables, and minimal liquid. Just a touch of spice. Had them around to taste test, and I was told that it was perfect! Imagine that!” _

“Imagine that indeed.”

_ “It made this old woman feel appreciated, you know. Should I be planning a trip anytime soon?” _

“Uh, I…” Rhodey tried to come up with an excuse which wouldn’t sound pathetic. “I don’t think that’s a good idea mum. Sorry.”

_ “No matter. Hearing your voice is good enough. I assume that the phone call means that there is good news, but you not telling me means that it’s not news to share. So I shall say, I am happy for you.” _

“Thank you mum.”

_ “Anytime. Now, are there any recipes  _ you  _ want me to recreate?” _

“You think you can fix oatmeal?”

Rhodey smiled at the sound of his mother bursting out laughing.

_ “My dear, I may be a miracle worker, but nobody is fixing hospital oatmeal.” _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :)  
> I'm currently thinking of other pieces for this verse:  
> -Where Team Cap are at  
> -More Lila & Riri  
> -More backstory for Carol & Rhodey  
> \- any other suggestions?
> 
> See you next time :)


	8. To be unable to see in front of you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’d advise against having any expectations at this stage. It’s day one, and this journey isn’t measured in days.”

“I’m sorry for stopping by so late; I didn’t want to interrupt your appointment.”

Rhodey shook his head, pushing himself up in his bed. Pepper had come in moments after Doctor Sanchez left. “Not interrupting Pepper, it’s good to see you.”

“You’re looking better.”

“I’d hope so; last time I saw you, I’d barely got out of surgery.”

“I suppose so,” Pepper nodded, smiling at Rhodey. “It’s been too long since we’ve been able to just…  _ be _ .”

“Yeah,” Rhodey sighed, joining in Pepper’s smile, which had slid into a sadder tone. “ _ Be  _ would be nice right about now. I’m starting physical therapy tomorrow.”

“Yeah?”

Rhodey nodded. 

“But you’re unsure about it?”

Rhodey laughed at Pepper. “You sure you aren’t psychic?”

“As I keep telling you, I know you,” Pepper reached out, taking Rhodey’s hand in hers. “It doesn’t take a psychic to see that you’re not completely comfortable right now.”

Rhodey looked down at their hands for a moment, answering Pepper without looking up. “You might be right.”

“And is that such a bad thing?” Pepper squeezed Rhodey’s hand, before letting go. “Your therapy is alone, right?”

Rhodey nodded. “Just me and the Doctor.”

“And you probably won’t want anyone dropping by afterwards, will you?”

“There goes psychic Pepper again.”

Pepper laughed, standing up and smoothing down her skirt. “I’ll be back tomorrow night.”

“That’s not necessary.”

Pepper shrugged a shoulder. “Maybe not. But I will be here. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“See you tomorrow.”

 

~~~

 

“He talked to you, didn’t he.”

It wasn’t a question, and Pepper didn’t treat it as such. Carol was leaning against the wall, looking at Pepper with a blank expression.

_ Though her blank expression speaks volumes about what she’s really thinking. _

Pepper held out a hand, linking her arm through Carol’s as they made their way down the hall. 

“He’s at a crossroads, Carol. About to start something he’s never had to face before.”

“And it scares him.”

Pepper nodded, patting Carol’s arms. “Come on, let’s go get out of this place for an hour.”

They had both been spending a lot of time in the hospital, and neither could find a reason not to leave.

Or, rather, they had  _ plenty  _ of reasons to stay, but both needed to spend some time away. 

_ A breath of fresh air. _

 

~~~

 

“All we are doing today is focusing on your legs. We’re not trying to move them, we’re looking for feeling. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“First off, I’m going to tap on your feet. Tell me when you feel it.”

Rhodey watched Doctor Sanchez, waiting for him to touch his foot. “When are you going to tap?”

Doctor Sanchez looked up at Rhodey. “I have been. You didn’t feel anything?”

Rhodey shook his head. “Maybe try harder?”

Doctor Sanchez looked down again, and again Rhodey felt nothing. 

“This is not a setback,” Doctor Sanchez said as he moved to Rhodey’s calves. “There were no expectations of feeling.”

“What does this mean for my chances to walk?”

“Inconclusive, I’m afraid to say,” Doctor Sanchez moved to Rhodey’s thighs. “I’d advise against having any expectations at this stage. It’s day one, and this journey isn’t measured in days.”

“Very philosophical of you, Doctor.”

“I find it best. And you can call me Evan.” Doctor Sanchez finished his checks, sitting down on a stool next to the examination bed. 

“Is that it for today?”

Doctor Sanchez nodded. “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

“I’m going to get used to hearing the philosophical quotes, aren’t I?”

“Not just philosophical, I hope. Come on, I’ll help you back to your room.”

 

~~~

 

Rhodey had just finished his lunch when the door to his room opened, and Doctor Reynolds entered.

“Is this a bad time?”

Rhodey shook his head, gesturing to the chair which was quickly becoming associated with Doctor Reynolds. 

“I assume that you are here for a debrief?”

Doctor Reynolds nodded, sitting down in the chair. “You assume correctly. How would you describe it?”

Rhodey considered for a moment. “A chasm of lightning”

Doctor Reynolds smiled. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard that expression before.”

“Probably because I just made it up,” Rhodey sighed, shaking his head. “I don’t know why I expected anything different. No feeling in my legs. At all.”

“You were expecting there to be feeling.”

“A little bit, yeah. To have nothing at all? It’s....” Rhodey threw his hands up in the air in frustration. “I don’t know. I don’t know, and that scares me. More than anything. And considering some of the crap I’ve seen? Is ridiculous.”

“It’s not ridiculous. Being scared of an unknown situation is completely normal.”

“My life has been anything but normal.”

“That may be, but you are allowed to be scared. Don’t feel like you have to ignore your feelings because you see them as wrong.”

Rhodey wasn’t sure how to answer her, so he looked down at his hands.

“You don’t need all the answers right now,” Doctor Reynolds spoke after about five minutes of silence. Rhodey continued to look at his hands as she spoke. “You might not ever get all the answers. Whatever happens, you need to look after yourself. Do you think you can do that?”

Rhodey shrugged his shoulder, finally looking up at Doctor Reynolds. “I don’t think I can answer that today.”

Doctor Reynolds nodded. “That is fine. As I said, you’re not always going to have all the answers. But you can focus on making your way towards the answers.”

“I’m exhausted just thinking about all of this,” Rhodey admitted, running a hand over his face. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologise, I can leave if you would prefer.”

“Wouldn’t that be bad?”

“These sessions don’t have a set time they have to run for. I would much rather that you feel comfortable than try and overstay.”

“Thank you Doctor Reynolds.”

“Any time.”

Rhodey watched Doctor Reynolds leave, before staring down at his empty plate.  _ In a sad way,  _ Rhodey thought,  _ this plate is a metaphor for my life. Full one moment, empty the next. _

 

~~~

 

When the door to his room opened after ten pm, Rhodey was surprised. No one was supposed to be visiting. 

When Rhodey saw who it was, he was less surprised.  “You look like crap.”

“Says the man confined to a bed.” Rhodey shook his head,  _ only Tony _ . 

“Aren’t you also supposed to be  confined to a bed?”

Tony shrugged, clearly wobbling on his feet. “When has that ever stopped me?”

Rhodey shook his head, gesturing to the chair. “Take a seat Tones, you look like you’re about to pass out.”

Tony hobbled over to the chair, sinking into it gratefully. “Don’t tell anyone.”

“What, that you snuck out after curfew?” Rhodey shook his head. “Never been in this situation before.”

“Hilarious.”

“Thought Pepper was going to visit.”

Tony nodded. “Yeah, I convinced her to let me visit you. She’s in my room, ready to talk to anyone who comes by. Officially, I’m not here.”

Rhodey took a look at Tony, noting the deep bags under his eyes. “How are you?”

Tony waved a bandaged hand through the air. “I spent a week almost dead. Compared to that, I’m  _ great.  _ Let’s talk about you.”

“Let’s not.”

“Saw Carol a couple of days ago.”

Rhodey shook his head, long since used to Tony’s changes in subject. He looked away before Tony could see his face. “Don’t want to talk about it.”

“Clearly.” Tony rolled his eyes, before continuing. “I know the two of you, I know how you work.  _ This  _ is the time where you should be together, not… whatever it is the two of you are doing. This dance needs to stop.”

“Tony-” Rhodey tried to interrupt, but Tony beat him to it. 

“Just let her help. I saw your look when I mentioned her; you’re not angry at her, you’re angry at yourself.”

Rhodey blew out a breath, before turning back to face Tony. “I don’t need her help.”

“Maybe not. But you want it.”

“So?”

“Talk to her.” Tony sighed, shaking his head. “This is like MIT all over again.”

“Well I’m sorry that you don’t like the way I am living my life. Didn’t realise I had to live up to your expectations.”

“What?” Tony seemed to run out of energy, staring at Rhodey with confusion evident on his face. “What does that mean?”

“I’m sorry that the great Tony Stark has been left with such a failure for a friend.” Rhodey shook his head. “You know what, I’m not sorry. It’s my life, not yours.”

“I think I can see why Carol was so upset,” Tony spoke as he stood up, balance clearly unstable. “Let me know when you’re willing to have an actual conversation. Because I’m not doing this. Not after everything we’ve been through.”

Rhodey watched Tony hobble out of the room, not finding any interest in trying to get him to stay.

_ You deserved that _ .

 

~~~

 

Pepper looked up from her tablet when Tony reentered his room. She was up straight away, helping him back to his bed.

“I know that look,” she said once he was back on the bed, sitting side by side. It was the  _ I’m fine, don’t call me on my lies  _ look, long ago patented by Tony, and equally long ago decoded by Pepper.

Tony offered her half a smile. “Yeah. He… he needs time, Pep. I might have almost died, but I’ll be right in a month, tops. He’s not going to be walking again anytime soon.”

“He seemed optimistic when I spoke to him yesterday.”

Tony shrugged his shoulders. “It’s a day by day thing. The smallest setback can derail you in unexpected ways.”

“Talking from experience, are we?”

“You know I am.”

Pepper put an arm around Tony’s shoulder, Tony resting his head on her shoulder. “Get some rest, you can worry in the morning.”

She felt more than heard his laughter. “I always worry. Terrible character flaw.”

_ Not so terrible,  _ Pepper would have said, had Tony not fallen asleep at that moment.  _ Things will look better in the morning. _

_ Hopefully. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All aboard the angst train, next stop: chapter 9.  
> My aim is to update this at least once a month.   
> Suffice to say, Rhodey's journey is far from over, and there will definitely be a lot of bumps along the way.
> 
> Thank you for reading, see you next time :)


	9. To try, without taking a step

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhodey has his first physical therapy attempting to take a step.  
> Attempting, being the operative word here

 

“I didn’t take a step today. Not a single one. I sat there in that...  _ chair _ , staring at the rails.” 

Rhodey all but spat the word  _ chair _ , not feeling anything but contempt at this moment.

Doctor Reynolds, sitting on the chair beside Rhodey’s bed, adjusted her glasses before speaking. “Did you want to take a step?”

_ No judgement. There’s  _ never  _ any judgement in her voice.  _

_ If only  _ you  _ could be like that. _

“No.” Rhodey answered, before frowning at himself. “Yes. No. I didn’t. If I wanted to take a step, I would have.”

“You know that I will not judge you.”

Rhodey nodded. “Not your judgement that I’m worried about.”

“I understand.”

_ Change the track; you don’t need understanding, you need to say your piece, and be alone again. _

“I don’t want to blame the braces, but I don’t think they’re any good.”

“Did you tell your physical therapist this?”

“I did.”

“And what was their opinion?”

“They say I can’t know unless I take a step. And I know that they were trying to get me to take a step, so I can’t blame them.”

“So how would you rate today?”

_ How indeed.  _

 

~~~~~

 

Rhodey stared straight ahead, not blinking at his enemy.

_ My enemy, a piece of wood. Well,  _ two  _ pieces of wood.  _ In Rhodey’s mind, the distinction was important. This was likely due to him not wanting to be thinking about the  _ important  _ thing here: the fact that he had not even attempted to take a step. 

It had taken forty five minutes for the therapist, Evan, to help him into the braces. For fifteen minutes after that, Rhodey just  _ stared  _ at them, not knowing what to have expected. 

_ Am I supposed to want to walk right away? Am I supposed to just sit here and stare? Am I supposed to be walking a marathon next week? _

_ What am I supposed to do? _

Evan told him to take his time, to only stand up if he was ready to do so. Unsurprisingly, this did not help Rhodey. 

Rhodey spent half an hour staring at the railings that he was to use for support, his enemy. 

_ An hour and a half, and you haven’t even bothered to take a step. Haven’t even tried to.  _

“I don’t think they’re any good,” Rhodey said, almost two hours after first putting on the braces. He didn’t make eye contact with Evan. 

“No good?”

_ There’s no judgement in his voice, but he’s been  _ trained  _ not to show judgement. _

_ Like you were trained to fly.  _

Rhodey shook his head, largely to get rid of his thoughts but also to answer Evan’s question. “Nope. No good.”

“We won’t know unless you try and take a step.”

Rhodey knew that, logically, Evan meant well.  _ But I’m not being very logical at the moment.  _

Rhodey shook his head again, looking directly at Evan. “It’s the braces.”

Evan held his hands up, standing up from his position beside Rhodey. “Alright. You want to take them off?”

Rhodey nodded, still not looking down at the braces. 

_ First the rails were the enemy, now it’s the braces.  _

 

~~~~~

 

“How would I rate today?” Rhodey echoed, shaking his head. “On a scale of one to ten, a clusterfuck.”

Doctor Reynolds nodded. “A clusterfuck. Is that better or worse than a chasm of lightning?”

“I said that, what, a month ago? And you remember that, without looking at any notes?”

Doctor Reynolds nodded at Rhodey. “It is my job. So, clusterfuck, chasm of lightning?”

Rhodey sighed, thinking over the question. “So, a clusterfuck would be, oh, seven chasms of lightning.”

“So today was not a good day.”

“The opposite of a good day, Doctor. The complete opposite.” Rhodey closed his eyes, shaking his head. “You know, I expected today to go very differently.”

“Is that so?”

Rhodey nodded, looking down at his hands. “My first chance to prove that I can get out of this bed, not be confined to bed rest, and I blew it. Monumentally.”

“You will have another chance.”

“Yeah, maybe.” Rhodey rubbed his face; he had shaved this morning, in anticipation of a good day.

_ Well that was a waste of time.  _

“Why wouldn’t you get another chance?”

“Because I proved that I don’t deserve one.” Rhodey shook his head, turning to face Doctor Reynolds. “Why bother wasting time on me, when there are plenty of other people who are willing to do the work required? People who won’t stare at the braces for two hours, not even try to take a step.”

Doctor Reynolds was quiet for a moment, contemplating her answer. The silence was only broken by Rhodey’s breathing, which had quickened after his little speech. 

_ Don’t lie to yourself; it was a rant. A big, fat rant, directed at the wrong person. _

_ Because it wasn’t the braces that stopped you from trying to walk.  _

“And why would you not deserve a chance to walk again?” Doctor Reynolds eventually asked. 

Rhodey opened his mouth to answer, a response on the tip of his tongue, but looking at her non-judgemental face caused him to close his mouth and reconsider. 

_ She doesn’t deserve to bear your anger at yourself. _

Rhodey took a deep breath, and let it out, waiting before he answered. He wanted his voice to not waver.

“I can’t even try and walk.”

“It was your first try. What you went through, it would have been a miracle if you had walked on your first try.”

“Used to perform miracles for breakfast,” Rhodey muttered bitterly, before focusing back on Doctor Reynolds. “I didn’t even  _ try _ Doctor. Just stared at them, like, like… like they were aliens.” Rhodey shook his head. “No, I’ve met aliens. The braces were… weirder. I’m not explaining this well. At all.”

“I think I understand you,” Doctor Reynolds still had no judgement on her face. “You were confronted with an unknown scenario, for which you have no experience. And when you were unable to do what you thought you would be able to do, you ran out of options. And now you’re here.”

“And now I’m here,” Rhodey echoed, staring at Doctor Reynolds. “You’re right, you know.”

“I’ve only said what you’ve told me.”

“In a more coherent way though.”

Doctor Reynolds tilted her head to the side. “Sometimes all it takes is talking to someone, hearing your thoughts rephrased by someone else. Hearing it from another source, instead of internalising everything.”

_ But I  _ am  _ internalising. A whole lot. _

Instead of saying that, Rhodey nodded at Doctor Reynolds. “Isn’t that your job description?”

“In a way, I suppose it is.” Doctor Reynolds straightened her head, rolling her shoulders back. “Is there anything else you want to say?”

_ I’m afraid of a damn piece of wood. _

_ Every time I fall asleep, I see the ground flying at me. _

_ I don’t know if I’ll ever be the same again. _

_ I don’t know if I ever  _ want  _ to be the same again. _

Of course, Rhodey didn’t say any of that. Instead, he shook his head. “Nothing else, Doctor.”

“If you say,” Doctor Reynolds nodded, standing up and smoothing her skirt as she did so. “I will be by next week, after your appointment. Unless you contact me earlier, I’m always on call.”

“Understood Doctor. See you next week.”

“See you then.”

Once the door closed behind Doctor Reynolds, Rhodey let out a sigh. This was the first time he had been alone since this morning, since  _ before _ . 

_ I probably shouldn’t be alone _ , Rhodey thought, right before he began to cry.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no see. Thank you for reading :)
> 
> Ah yes, Rhodey, Rhodey, Rhodey. I have a plan here, and we're moving forward. Slowly, but Rhodey's gotta hit the bottom before he can rise again.  
> And he will be moving forward.   
> I'm planning a time jump for the next chapter, to sort of progress the story. Because I imagine not everyone wants to read through *every* day of Rhodey's physical recovery. In all honesty, I probably can't write it.
> 
> A month since I last posted, and a month since I wrote the majority of this chapter. I am keeping to my promise of at least one chapter per month.   
> The problem with this story is, it is emotionally draining to write sometimes. So that's why I can only promise a chapter a month.   
> But I do have several one-shots almost done set within this verse.   
> -Lila & Riri being college roommates  
> -Where Natasha & Sharon ended up post CW.  
> -What team cap is up to.
> 
> And several more being thought of.
> 
> As always, thank you for sticking with me, and I will see you next time

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, let me know what you thought :)


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